The Difference Between Spending Money and Wasting Money

Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about money from being married to someone who is much more financially savvy than I am.

I’ve learned how different credit cards actually work, how to take advantage of their benefits, why certain points and rewards are worth paying attention to, why interest rates matter, and about a whole host of other things I probably wouldn’t have thought twice about years ago.

But one of my biggest takeaways has completely changed the way I look at spending money.

Intentionality.

That word has become a pretty big part of how I think about money.

And before you think this is going to be another “stop spending money” lecture, it isn’t.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t buy things that make you happy. I’m not saying you shouldn’t buy the new soccer cleats your kid needs. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go out to dinner or buy something nice for yourself.

I’m talking about the intention behind the money you’re spending.

Because I’ve learned that there’s a pretty big difference between spending money and wasting money.

I used to be really good at wasting money.

Before kids, if I saw something I liked, I was much more likely to just buy it.

Cute shirt? Obviously I needed it.

Shoes in the perfect color? They would go with something.

A pair of $20 sandals that were adorable but would probably fall apart after a few wears? Well, they were only $20.

And then I’d wear the thing once or twice, forget about it, and move on.

Looking back, those purchases weren’t necessarily expensive individually. But there was no real intention behind them.

I wanted it right then.

And that’s about it.

Fast fashion is probably one of the best examples of this for me because, once upon a time, I was basically the model customer.

I wanted the cutest shirt.

The shoes in the exact color I didn’t have.

The $20 sandals that were too cute to pass up.

And then I’d end up with a closet full of things that didn’t really work together, didn’t necessarily fit my personal style, and didn’t get worn very much.

I’ve really changed the way I shop for clothes over the years.

And notice I didn’t say I’ve stopped shopping.

I love fashion. I love getting dressed. I love finding things that make me feel confident.

But now I’m much more intentional about what I buy.

Does it actually fit my personal style?

Can I wear it with multiple things?

Is it something I’ll still like next year?

Is it well made enough to hold up?

Is it worth the money I’m spending on it?

And no, I’m not saying you need to spend $100 on every shirt you buy.

There are plenty of great, reasonably priced brands where you can find quality pieces without spending a fortune.

I’m simply much more willing to spend more on something I know I’m going to wear over and over again than I am to spend $15 on something just because it’s cute and cheap.

Because that $15 shirt isn’t a bargain if I wear it twice, wash it three times, and then it shrinks, unravels, or sits in the back of my closet.

Cheap doesn’t automatically mean financially smart.

And expensive doesn’t automatically mean wasteful.

That’s the distinction I’m talking about.

I’ve started thinking about the same thing with groceries.

I’m much more intentional about grocery shopping now, too.

I usually make a meal plan first, look at what we already have, and then figure out what we actually need.

I also buy certain things in bulk at Costco because I know my family will use them.

Peanut butter is a perfect example.

My kids go through an almost unbelievable amount of peanut butter, so yes, I buy the giant two-pack at Costco.

Could I buy a smaller jar?

Of course.

But I know we’re going to eat every bit of those giant jars. In fact, we’ll probably clear them out within four to six weeks.

So for our family, buying the larger size makes sense.

It’s not about buying the biggest package because it’s “cheaper per ounce.”

It’s about knowing we’re actually going to use it.

That’s intentional spending.

And then there are the little decisions that add up.

Here’s a very real example from our life.

I love a good drive-through.

Especially when I’m tired, it’s the end of a long day, the kids are hungry, and we’ve just gotten home from soccer practice.

There have been plenty of evenings when Chick-fil-A nuggets and fries sounded a whole lot easier than going home and making dinner.

But I’ve actually surprised myself over this past soccer season because I’ve gotten much better at stopping for a second and thinking about it.

If we’re already heading home, and I know I have chicken nuggets and fries sitting in the freezer at home, why am I getting in the drive-through line?

I can get home, throw the nuggets and fries in the air fryer, and have basically the same kid dinner ready in about the same amount of time.

In that particular situation, the Chick-fil-A isn’t really adding much value.

I’d already bought the food at home.

I’d already planned to go home.

And I was going to have to feed the kids either way.

So for me, that would be wasted money.

Now, does that mean I’m anti-Chick-fil-A?

Absolutely not. God bless Chick-fil-A.

If we’re going somewhere else, we’re going to be in the car for a while, we’re traveling, or I simply need the convenience that day, I’m going to buy the nuggets.

That’s not wasteful just because it costs more.

The circumstances matter.

That’s the whole point.

And sometimes spending more is exactly what I want to do.

This is where I think the idea of “intentional spending” gets really interesting.

My husband and I are trying to be much more intentional about our date nights.

We have three kids. Time alone doesn’t exactly fall into our laps.

So when we get the opportunity to go out together, have a nice dinner, enjoy a glass of wine, and sit across from each other without someone asking us for a snack every five minutes?

That’s valuable to us.

If we spend $150 on that night, I don’t look at it and think, We just spent $150 on dinner.

I think, We just spent $150 on time together.

And to me, that’s money well spent.

Could we have stayed home and spent $30 on dinner?

Absolutely.

Would that have been cheaper?

Of course.

But cheaper isn’t always the goal.

Value is the goal.

So what does intentional spending actually mean?

For me, it means slowing down long enough to ask:

Do I actually need this?

Do I actually want this?

Will I use it?

Does this make my life better, easier, or more enjoyable?

Am I buying this because I genuinely value it, or because it’s cheap, convenient, trendy, or sitting in front of me?

And maybe most importantly:

Would I rather spend this money on something else?

Because every dollar has an opportunity cost.

If I spend $25 on a random drive-through meal when I already have food at home, that $25 is gone.

But if I skip that purchase, maybe that money stays available for something I value more.

Maybe it’s part of our next date night.

Maybe it’s something for the kids.

Maybe it stays in our account.

The point isn’t that $25 is going to make or break our finances.

The point is that small decisions are still decisions.

I’m not trying to spend less. I’m trying to waste less.

That’s probably the biggest shift in my mindset.

I don’t want to live a life where I’m afraid to spend money.

I don’t want to feel guilty every time I buy something I enjoy.

And I definitely don’t think being financially responsible means always choosing the cheapest option.

I want to spend money on the things that matter to me.

I want to buy quality when quality matters.

I want to pay for experiences that are important to our family.

I want to make my life easier when the convenience is actually worth it.

And I want to stop spending money simply because something is cheap, cute, convenient, or available.

That’s the difference between spending money and wasting money.

It’s not necessarily about the amount.

It’s about the intention behind it.

Because $15 can be wasted.

$150 can be wasted.

And $150 can also be one of the best $150 you spent all month.

I’m learning that being good with money isn’t always about spending less.

Sometimes it’s simply about making sure the money you do spend is actually buying you something you value.